Grocery Shopping With a Toddler

Lately my grocery shopping trips have looked a little something like this-

Hold toddler's hand with a death grip so he does not escape into the parking lot full of speeding cars.

Find a cart that has some sort of car feature to entertain toddler.

Maneuver ginormous cart though produce section while toddler happily plays with the steering wheel on the cart.

Toddler is no longer entertained by the cart so stop at deli to get a free piece of cheese for toddler.

Toddler stuffs whole piece of cheese in his mouth and starts yelling for "cooks" since he knows they give free cookies at the bakery a few steps away.

NO!!! The bakery is out of cookies. Toddler throws epic fit.

Time to think quick so toddler stops screaming. Start playing the game of handing toddler groceries to throw in the cart.

Only half way through the shopping trip and despite being strapped in, toddler is standing up in the cart trying to jump out.

You take toddler out of the cart to avoid trip to the emergency room. You carry 27 lb toddler and push the million pound cart all while still crossing items off your list.

Toddler wants down and runs wild as you chase after him frantically as you stop him from pulling eggs off the shelf.

People are staring because toddler is pushing the cart and nobody can see him. Somebody remarks that they thought I had a new mechanical cart. I wish dude, I wish.

Finally time to check out. Toddler tries to take off with stash of candy, so you are now holding a screaming toddler while you try and scan your credit card.

Still trying to pay because toddler has hit the cancel  button time after time on the credit card machine.

Finally time to leave. As you walk to the car with a screaming and kicking toddler you promise yourself you will never ever take toddler shopping with you again.

Until you find yourself in the exact same situation the next week because you tell yourself it can't be as bad as it was before. Except this time it is worse and you swear up and down that was the last time.

For Real.

Or at least until we run out of wine.

That is what shopping with a toddler looks like.