Drawing the Line

I knew this day would come. I could feel myself holding more and more back from all of you. I think long and hard before I post a story about my children on the blog anymore. I have done a lot of reviews and giveaways and have written some posts that are about me or motherhood but I have kept the most important part of my heart - my children - to myself.

Before the last month or so I have never seen Drake get embarrassed. Sure he had done embarrassing things, but he did not know that he should or could feel embarrassed about it. But in the last few weeks I have seen him utterly and truly embarrassed and it broke my heart and put me on high alert. I know I will do things in the future to embarrass my kids. I'm guessing sometimes it will all be in fun and I will do it on purpose and other times they will be embarrassed of me or things I do whether it is justified or not.

Here is the thing - I don't want this blog to be a source of embarrassment for them.  In the world we live a quick Google search is all it takes for stories, pictures and all the information you need to know about a person is at your fingertips.  I know I can't protect my boys forever, but I can limit what I contribute to their "internet biography." I want them to make their own tracks in life- their own stories- if they want to write a  blog someday, great, but that is up to them.

So I guess what I'm saying is that the line has been drawn. This blog will continue but with a lot less of my sweet boys in it.  I will still share pictures of my boys from time to time and I'm sure every now and then I will pop in with a story or 2 about them, but for the most part I will do what a mother should do and hold the most precious and sensitive stories close to my heart just for me.

Growing up is hard to do...

What's On My Mind

On this cold and dreary Monday morning this is what I'm thinking about-

•  Drake had a lock down drill at his school on Friday. I can't even begin to tell you the heartbreak I felt as he told me "we had to pretend there was a bad shooter in the building and turn off all the lights and hide."  So, so sad that a lock down drill will now be the new normal for kids at school.

• I'm feeling really grateful for my husband lately. I have been gone a lot in the evenings the past month and my husband is wonderful about it. He never makes me feel guilty for being away and I love that I can leave and not have to give him directions on what to do with the kids because he already knows since he is such a big part of their care everyday anyway. I'm just so happy I get to do life with him

• I went to the Pink concert with my mom and sisters on Friday night. What.A.Show! Seriously, if you ever get the chance to see her concert, please do. Hand down the best show I've ever seen!

 

• Our church puts on a Turkey Mission Dinner every fall and gives 100% of the money away.  All the food is donated and the tickets are free (a free will donation is taken at the door). Two year ago the dinner raised $25,000. Last year $60,000 was raised and this year over $87,000 will be given away to Habit for Humanity and Imagine No Malaria. I get goosebumps just thinking of what God is doing in our church and how many lives will be changed as a result of this turkey dinner.

• This is my new favorite picture. I love how it captures everyday life at our house.  And Charlie's expression? Priceless! I wonder what he is plotting...

 

• I continue to be amazed at the distinct personality differences between our 2 boys. Drake is sensitive and emotional. He is a cuddler and over thinker. Charlie is wild and tough. He is busy and carefree.  They both bring so many great qualities  to our little family that I love.

And Here are a few links I'm loving right now-

• I did the Fresh 20 Meal planning a lot last winter and I'm ready to get back on the wagon again. Makes meal time SO much easier.


• Do you use Instagram? It is my favorite social media site. I would love to follow you! You can follow me here.


• I am loving these Design Dilemma posts on Young House Love. I think it would be so much fun to submit a room in our house and get some fresh ideas.


• Watch this. The message speaks to everyone.


• If you plan on buying any Fisher Price toys for the holidays here are some great coupons for you!


• I just got done reading this book. Wow, just, wow. Read it.


• I bought this cardigan for Drake last week. There is just something about little boys wearing grow-up clothes that melts my heart.

Have a wonderful week!

I am a Good Mom

Last night I was talking with a friend about motherhood. We were talking about how we felt like we were struggling in some areas- about how hard it can be and the guilt we carry around. I was telling her how I struggle to get a meal on the table for my family and how lately I feel like I am hardly keeping it together. I feel guilty about not getting down on the floor enough to play with my boys or for snapping at them in a harsh voice when all they want to do is ask me a question.  I wish that I had craft projects prepared that we could do together and that I could control them better in public. I just wish I was a better mom.

Today, that same friend sent me a link to a  video that has been floating around Facebook. Please take four minutes to watch it.  If you can't watch the video here is a quick overview-The video starts by showing moms being interviewed about what kind of mom they think they are. They are all very hard on themselves and list many of the same things that I listed above. The video then goes on to show their kids being interviewed about their moms. The kids rave about how wonderful their moms are and all the really great qualities that they have.

I cried through the whole entire video. It just hit so close to home for me.  I don't concentrate on the qualities that make me a good mom, but instead I focus on all the bad.

But you know what? I am a good mom. I love letting my boys crawl in bed with me in the morning and I cuddle and kiss and love on them. I take them on donut dates just because. I am teaching them to be kind and generous and forgiving. I love exposing them to new things and we go on lots of adventures together. I date my kids carving out special one-on-one time with them. I take pride in how they look and dress them well. I make cookies with them. I throw great birthday parties. I fill up their little pool hundreds of time in the summer just so they can swim for five minutes. I go all out for every single holiday. I have taught them about Jesus. I have pizza party picnics on the living room floor. I take time to pick out the perfect gift for them, one that I know they will love. I organize playdates. I started our special "Friday Festival" tradition. I love reading books with them. I try really, really hard to play superheros, I have dance parties with the music turned up way to loud. I love them so much my heart hurts. I am a good mom.

What an awesome thing it would be if we could all just see ourselves through our children's eyes, huh? I know that I'm going to try.

Soaking Them Up

I can't help but feel like I am a little short on words this summer. I have been busy just soaking up these sweet boys of mine. We have been having such a fantastic summer making memories together. I have been grabbing my DSLR camera a lot more lately and taking advantage of the beautiful natural light outside to catch some pretty good photos of my boys. I can't help but smile as I take the photos knowing that I will be able to relive that moment again and again just by looking at a picture.

It is becoming very evident as Charlie gets older that I am raising two very different boys.

Drake is my cautious and wild boy. The one who is witty and has the best imagination. He will be turning 4 in a couple of weeks and I am just so proud of him.

Charlie is brave and such a little toughie. He has a magnetic personality and already has charm so thick that he can get out of most any situation using it. He  is almost 16 months and bring us so much joy.

Those 2 little boys seem to make summer so much fun and I'm going to spend ever second I can soaking it up.

30 Things Loved in June

Kelsey from Words of Williams shares what she is grateful for at the end of every month. I love the idea so here is my debut monthly "loved" post.

1. A chance to take our first vacation as a family of four. We had such a great time!

2. Surprising my husband with a date night to Exhile Brewing and rolling with the punches even though the experience was not quite what we had pictured.

3. Drinking beers with friends in the driveway with the hum of the baby monitor in the background.

4. A family trip to the zoo to celebrate Father's Day.

5. Hearing Drake comfort Charlie when he is upset.

6. A long weekend away with my whole family and the fun we had.

7. Potato packets (potatoes, olive oil, dry ranch dressing mix and a little cheese) on the grill.

8. $4.00 shirts at H&M

9. Thursdays and Fridays filled with adventure and memories.

10. Down alternative pillows.

11. Drake's sweet heart for Jesus and hearing all he took in at Vacation Bible School.

12. An impromptu visit from my sister.

13. Grocery shopping with Charlie while he smiles and waves and flirts with every person he sees.

14 Planning Drake's birthday party.

15. Watching Revenge with Ben on Hulu Plus all curled up in bed late at night.

16. Mini ice cream sandwiches.

17. 6:00 am workouts.

18. Reading a book on the Kindle on the deck while the boys nap.

19. Letting the boys stay up way past their bedtime just so we can play outside.

20. Grandparents who love my kids to pieces (and spoil them too).

21. Sunday afternoon beers with a friend on a patio.

22. Charlie walking around with Hulk Hands on and making superhero sounds.

23. $5.00 retro chair find at the Restore.

24. The amazing kids in our neighborhood that picked up after a big storm went through.

25. Skinner enjoying the kids swimming pool by taking a dip.

26. Watching Drake play outside at 7:00 am in his jammies while I make breakfast.

27.  A lilac bush that bloomed and was so beautiful and fragrant.

28.  Going to garage sales with Drake and watching him search for treasures.

29.  Babies with bright blonde hair and big blue eyes and tanned skin.

30.  A great sermon series at our church.

What did you love in June?

This and That

• I know I am really late onto the Downton Abbey train but I started watching it a couple weeks ago on Netflix and I'm hooked! I'm almost done with season 2 and have the whole 3rd season waiting for my on my DVR. LOVE that show!


•  Drake- "Mom do you know any songs from Daniel the Tiger?" Me-"Yep!" Drake-"That's my girl!!"


• Charlie was a human slingshot for Drake's angry birds game last week. He coughed and an angry bird flew out of his mouth across the room. This resulted in a conversation with Drake about a safer place to keep his small toys.


• My blog crashed last week. I could not pull up the blog or my log in. Cue the panic and the frantic call to my web support people. They were able to get it to come back up but not without having to delete all my plug ins first.


• I have to go to preschool orientation tonight for Drake.  I can't believe he will be going to preschool in the fall! Also, doesn't February seem a little early for orientation considering he will not start until September?!?


• Party planning is in full swing at our house! Charlie will be having a Curious George 1st Birthday Party next month. Pinterest is so helpful when planning a party.


• I have the best husband. Saturday was his birthday and instead of doing anything fun he ended up taking care of a sick kid, having a disappointing birthday dinner and had a wife who fell asleep by 9:00 pm. He did not complain one time and told me the next day that his day was perfect. I'm so lucky to have him!

 

A Little of This, A Little of That

• My weight loss journey is slowly chugging along. I am down 16 lbs and getting so close to posting my 20 lb lost picture.


• Drake calls Sunday School "Someday School". Might be the cutest thing I've ever heard.


• Speaking of "Someday School", we told Drake that he is not allowed to talk about Superheros there (he is obsessed and is all he wants to talk about, play, etc.). His response? "But Jesus is a Superhero!!" Hard to argue with that...


• Thinking it is time to start trying to get Charlie into a better sleep routine. He has been sleeping from 7:00-11:30 then wanting to eat and then getting up again around 4:30 wanting to eat again or snuggle. I am tired.


• I am loving this fall weather we have been having. Perfect for boots, and leggings, and sweaters, pumpkin spice lattes, and chili.


• Ben and I have started having at home date nights about once a week. We wait until the kids go to bed to eat and spend the time chatting and catching up on our favorite fall TV shows.  It is a relaxing and fun  way to spend time together without spending money.


• We have owned our minivan for about 5 months now and I still feel funny driving it. I don't even really know how to explain it, except for the fact that it makes me feel so grown up.  I also love listening to loud rap music when I am all alone and driving home from work and it just feels super awkward to jam out to it in the mini. I guess I had to grow up sometime :)

Have a great week!

P.S.- Enter here to win tickets to see Phineas and Ferb Live

So You Want to Know What is on My Mind?

I'm linking up with Blair over at Heir to Blair today for a little Friday Brain Dumping!

• I finally joined the craze and I'm reading the Hunger Games. I'm done with the first book and making good progress in the second book.  I need to finish this series ASAP so I can start paying attention to Drake again!


• 10 weeks left of this pregnancy. For some reason this pregnancy has been much more difficult than with Drake.  I remember when I hit the 30 week mark with Drake I had a serious freak-out about how close it was getting, this time I practically jumped around knowing this would all be over soon and I can meet my sweet new boy.


• I cleaned out my closet yesterday, like really cleaned it out. It felt great and also got me all excited to wear my non-maternity outfits again. I'm planning on starting Weight Watchers as soon as the little guy is born. Can't wait!


• Whenever Kelly Clarkson's Mr. Know It All comes on Drake wants to dance with me. He calls it "Mommy and Drakie's song" and will dance with his head on my shoulder. I pretty much drop anything (even reading the Hunger Games) for a moment like that.


• I organized and redecorated my laundry room last weekend. I'm in love. Pictures to come soon, but think yellow walls with touches of aqua accent pieces and lots of cool subway art on the walls.


• I went to couponing class last night with my neighbor. It was interesting and I learned a lot, but also think it could become a HUGE time suck. I think I will take bits and pieces of what I learned and apply to our life. I DO know that I will be getting lots of use out of this Totally Target Blog.