Heartbeat

13 weeks today I  thought as I sat anxiously waiting for the doctor to come in.

I wonder if it is a boy or girl?

I love having a little boy and brothers would be SO fun!

But a girl...a girl would be such a blessing too.

"Hello Katie" the doctor interrupted my thoughts as she entered the room.

"Climb up on the table and let's take a listen to your little one's heartbeat" she said as she rubbed the cold gel all over my expanding belly.

She placed the doppler on my belly.

Silence.

She moved it around.

Still silence.

My breath caught as minutes went by with nothing but silence.

"I can't find the heartbeat and we don't have an ultrasound machine in this office. Can you drive downtown for a quick ultrasound to make sure everything is OK?"

I nodded as my head filled with all sorts of awful scenarios.

I walked in a fog of fear to my car where I called Ben and told him to meet me downtown.

I don't remember much of the car ride except for the praying part.

We sat in silence in the waiting room for 30 minutes waiting for my name to be called.

But I'm still been feeling sick.

My stomach has a noticeable bump.

This baby is our miracle.

"Katie come on back" this time my thoughts were interrupted by someone who would tell us the fate of our baby.

With a pounding heart I walked into the dark room with fear running through my veins as she put the cold gel on my stomach.

She started the ultrasound and we saw movement...lots and lots of movement.

And instead of silence the room was filled with the sound of a heart beating at 154 beats per minute.

I love you baby I thought as I sat back with a smile on my face watching my baby swim around.